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<!doctype HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <html><head> <style type="text/css"> body, td { font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; } tt, pre { font-family: monospace; } a { text-decoration: none; } a:hover { text-decoration: underline; } .shadowed { font-size: 8pt; background: black; } .meta { font-size: 8pt; } .index { font-size: 8pt; } .caption, .index { color: lightblue; } .comments { font-size: 8pt; } </style> <style type="text/css"> <!-- table { border: 1px darkblue; } table table { border: 0; } </style> <meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"> <link title="RSS" href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/l_basstronaut/rss" type="application/rss+xml" rel="alternate" /> <style type="text/css"> <!-- table { width: 50%; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 0%; } table table { width: 100%; margin:0; } table table table { width: auto; } body { background-image: url()!important; background-attachment: fixed !important; } --> </style> <title>Lance Bass</title> </head> <body vlink="blue" text="white" bgcolor="black" alink="#FFFFFF" link="#FFFFFF"> <div align="center"> <img src="http://www.PageProducer.com/users/briandeas/lancegraphicleanonme.jpg") "> <table summary="" border="0" cellpadding="2" width="346" cellspacing="0"> <tr><td align="center" bgcolor="#000000"> <table summary="" border="0" cellpadding="3" width="100%" cellspacing="0"> <tr class="caption"> <td class="caption"><b><u><div align="center">Sometimes in my life</div></b></td></u> <tr class="caption"> <td class="caption"><div align="center">We all have pain</div></td> <tr class="caption"> <td class="caption"><div align="center">We all have sorrow</div></td> <tr> <td><div align="center"><b><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/l_basstronaut/"> Even Heros</a>&nbsp;<a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/l_basstronaut/friends/"> Have a Right</a>&nbsp;<a href="http://www.geocities.com/not_quite_celeb/index.html"> To Dream</a>&nbsp;<a href="http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=l_basstronaut"> And its not easy</a>&nbsp;<a href="http://www.livejournal.com/allpics.bml?user=l_basstronaut"> To be Me</a></b></div> </tr> </table> </td> </tr> </table> </td> </tr></table> </td></tr> </table> <p>
Home is where I want to be.... [09 Sep 2003|06:01pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I guess I should actually UPDATE this thing.

I know I've been slacking off REALLY BAD. I've just been so busy that it's almost crazy. Okay well it is, but ya know, whatever.
Also I've been avoiding coming around, mostly to let my heart heal, these past couple of years my heart has been thrown around and I really just needed time to step away and just spend time with the people who REALLY need me. My kids. I know I've thrown alot of hearts around so I deserve no pity, but I don't know for once I finally feel like me and be happy that I've gathered the balls to update this here journal in some full extent capable to my abilites because before I had come to update but only seemed to have reached for the " backspace " key and turned off my computer.

I remember as a little boy, sitting at school, watching the clock, taping my pencil, waiting for the school day to end so I could run all the way down the street and step inside my house. I loved coming HOME. It's where I felt safe, a sense of peace, it's where I was me. So many things have taken me away from HOME and each time I try to adjust to a new type of home, but it's never really been the home I've longed for, nothing could ever replace it. I wondered if I could ever feel like I was at home again, ever feel that sense of safety and peace. Well I stand before you now, with an honest heart and open soul and after many many sleepless nights of soul searching, I can say this:

I think I'm ready to be a better man.

I think I'm ready....to be me again.

Welcome Lance back, he's finally arrived HOME.

15 | I Feel Fine | disclaimer

[04 Sep 2003|05:25pm]
[ mood | cold ]

Ugh. People Annoy me.

Where all my boys Girls at?

2 | I Feel Fine | disclaimer

[30 Jul 2003|07:11pm]
[ mood | weird ]

Hi.

How're you?

3 | I Feel Fine | disclaimer

Eep. [21 Jun 2003|09:29pm]
[ mood | hot ]

http://www.intertopics.com/www/englisch/offers/lightbox.php4?a_nr=1227

I usually fine photo shoots a bore, but this one was quite entertaining. I think I like Acting Photoshoots more than I do Album Cover Shoots

7 | I Feel Fine | disclaimer

Yes. [18 Jun 2003|04:47pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Update. Hm. Update.


So My mom was here for a while, it was nice. I think the highlight of her trip here was when her and I brought the kids to the local fair. They had a blast and Mom and I were laughing so hard when they went on the little kid rollar coaster rides, there eyes were so wide. It was great. Rylan has grown up to be such a little man, when we were at the fair a band was playing and he said he wanted to dance so he grabbed my momma's er.. his grandma's hand and started dancing with her, I took alot of pictures :-x too many I think.
Abie misses her mother terribly, she always crys at night wishing she had her "mama" truthfully i think if she saw emmanuelle she wouldn't recongnize her one bit, I think she just wants some female in her life....My mom was only there for a few weeks, Abie wants some kind of permanent thing, it breaks my heart into every night when I have to rock her to sleep.

I hung out with J and Joey at the house of blues the other night, Justin was right about the whole Trace liqour thing, damn that man can drink, I only had a beer and I was about to pass out. jeez. I cant party anymore, I feel like an old man, once you have kids you loose the old partying fun, but i believe that you develop a new fun....in fact.. a funner....er more safer fun. but partying with the maxim girls a few weeks ago was nice PILLOW FIGHTS

Well Im gonna wrap this up, with one dedication, -points to his icon- My Momma, I don't know what I would do without you, thank you for being there for me and the kids, and always helping me out, one day Ill make it up to you.

2 | I Feel Fine | disclaimer

hah. [14 Jun 2003|03:49pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

Be prepared for an update tonight

but for now, gawk at my new icons :-x

1 | I Feel Fine | disclaimer

[30 May 2003|11:24am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Christina wants me, to bad she cant have me :-x neener neener neener.

well really she can, im just playing hard to get :-*

17 | I Feel Fine | disclaimer

[29 May 2003|11:25pm]
one day...... ill actually update
3 | I Feel Fine | disclaimer

>:O [21 May 2003|11:26pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

oh gag me with a fuckin spoon.


my mama and daddy are commin tomorrow :-D

I Feel Fine | disclaimer

To Kill A Mockingbird. [13 May 2003|05:48pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I lied awake in bed last night, staring up at my ceiling, my mind contemplating matters. After an hour the ceiling got boring to view so i went down stairs into my office, my eyes gazed across the bookshelf, my fingers brushing against the books. Until I came upon my John Steinbeck Collection. I picked up the book "Travels with Charley" and began to re-read it. The one line that stuck out was this. "A burning desire to go, to move, to get underway, anyplace, away from any.....HERE." When i came back to reality it dawned on me........ I need to get away from "Here" by here I mean my present state of mind. Which is "Im gonna act like Im so happy in the public eye when really im a deppressive emo stubborn ass" state of mind. When Em and I broke up, I never got to fully regain the "me" I lost. I just kinda dragged my tortured soul and heart to love someone else. It wasnt fair for them and it really wasnt fair for me. I wasnt me....the real me anyway all my insecurities showed when we talked and usually im one of those guys that is laid back and doesnt let my insecurities get the best of me. I kinda want to show her the real me.. so im hoping for a second chance to a true .....real....first impression.


Chris and I went out for a drink last night, met up at the bar we always use to go too, we talked, bullshitted, hada good time, and after our time spent, it hit me, not only do i miss him but i miss the rest of the guys too, Jc, Joey, and yes even Justin. We had so many good times. Through all the tears, struggles, and achievements we were always there for each other. We have been through all these things, and in our minds we tell ourselves we are close, but in reality we are oceans apart. I wish we were back to the close-knit clan that we were, the one who could never be broken up. Since we tell everyone that *NSYNC is not broken up..... why don't we prove it? Ive gained four amazing brothers 7 years ago. Id like for them to remain my brothers... for all time


J.C.- so what if you can rhyme better than me? I still make the best heartfelt entries. :-D


Joey- Even though I havent talked to you in a while, you know your my favorite brother :-)


Justin- You think I hate you but i really dont, its the fact that i feel like you hate me is what drives me to not talk to you. Hopefully you can regain all our trusts back, because right now Joey and Chris dont think the best of you and JC is starting too also. I have thought that for a while now, but all that is behind me, I hope you find it in you to push your stupidity aside, you arent the Justin any of us use to know infact.......you arent Justin. When you find him....the real him. "Holla" back at me. I'll be waiting with open arms.


Chris- your my best friend, you mean the world to me, all the times i hurt you, you have been true and you have stood by me. I love you and I'll never stop.


My four brothers, older and younger, wiser and dumber, they mean everything to me and its taken me a lifetime to realize that fact. Now i just hope it doesnt take another lifetime for us to reunite.

4 | I Feel Fine | disclaimer

Hardest thing. [12 May 2003|04:24pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

this feeling ive got over takes me
and i wish it would do the same for you
cause ya see the love i have for you will always stay true
but i must admit....
loving you is the hardest thing ive ever had to do.


I wish you could stare at me
the way you do to them
I wish you could give me your heart
and trust me, and try to be more than friends
This run around is killing me,
killing me to no end.
The one thing i gotta do is listen to my heart and having it stay true.
but i must admit
loving you is the hardest thing ive ever had to do.


The time grows slow when your not around
picturing you with someone else brings me down
girl, you have turned my whole life around
I only wish i could have done that to you
Cause knowing that you dont love me back
breaks my heart,throws my whole life off track.


I wish i could just have one chance
so what if i get hurt or i look like a jackass
Ive fallen for you
and i cant get up
beacause loving you...
is the hardest thing, Ive ever had to do...


2003 Freelance Productions. [MY POEM :-D ]

1 | I Feel Fine | disclaimer

Hm. [11 May 2003|04:30pm]
[ mood | recumbent ]

Em, the twins and I arrived in Mississippi this morning, momma was in tears, Rylan and i matched and she was flipping out, we were both wearing white button down shirts, jeans,loafers, and sunglasses, ive never heard my mom squeal so loud, she says Rylan looks exactly like i did when i was little and she loves it. Abie was wearing a cute little sundress along with her red barbie sunglasses that she cant take off, they are like attached to her head, its crazy. I saw my niece, little leighton, she is getting big, her, stacey, and I watched some old 90210 re-runs like we always use to do after school, and then abie and rylan put on a "mothers day show" for Stacey, Em, and Momma. It reminded my momma of the times that Stacey and I use to put on shows and she would always be the queen and i would be her servent or something, i always let her be the star, only cause she would hit me with her "magic wand" if i wasnt. meanie. so then after that momma took the kids to the store, and Dad and I talked for a while until he had to go get something ready so it left Em and I alone, we talked....it was talking. nothing real big. just talking. i think i upset her or something, i dont know..... i hope not....its the one thing i dont wanna do.

%0m
oh and brit.......im wearing my yellow shirt. thanks. :D


It's hard to lead the life you choose
All I wanted
When all your luck's run out on you
All I wanted
You can't see when all your dreams are coming true%0m
Oh yeah it's easy to forget yeah
You choke on the regrets yeah
Who the hell did I think I was%0m
Stranger than your sympathy
All these thoughts you stole from me
I'm not sure where I belong
Nowhere's home and I'm all wrong%0m
And I wasn't all the things
I tried to make believe I was
And I wouldn't be the one to kneel
Before the dreams I wanted
And all the talk and all the lies
Were all the empty things disguised as me

I Feel Fine | disclaimer

[10 May 2003|11:32pm]
[ mood | satisfied ]

So tomorrow is mothers day, i have a flight at 5 a.m. to mississppi to surprise my mama and stacey, em and the kids are comming along too cause well i want the kids to see their grandma and em cant miss out on her mothers day too. so its gonna be pretty intresting.


Tonight was good. it was better than the days ive had so far. thats all i gotta say.


and Jace, expect a rhyme tomorrow, i would do one now but i gotta go to sleep. I bet that ryhme took you forever to make up. loser.


and one more thing. stomachs turn me on :-x

I Feel Fine | disclaimer

Just a silly little love song..... [09 May 2003|07:40am]
[ mood | heee i can rhyme :-* ]

I miss you. Wednesday is to far away.


I miss you. In my arms i wish you would stay.


I miss you. without you i am nothing.


I miss you. come back, let me see you, just something.


I miss you. and the way your hair falls in your face.


I miss you. being with you is the best place.


I miss you. your smile and your touch.


I miss you. I miss you so damn much.

I Feel Fine | disclaimer

[08 May 2003|09:58pm]
[ mood | restless ]

I miss you.

I Feel Fine | disclaimer

My poem rocks all your fuckin socks. [07 May 2003|08:51pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I hate when people walk around and think they look cool


when really all they look like to me is a. damn fool


so go ahead walking around grabing your crotch


cause one day people will find out that your being something your really not.


You think I'm a damn shame


but really you are the one thats really lame


cause at least i have the matureness to be the better man


and you have insecureties that make you jump instead of understand.


so go on and front yourself like your all that


ill be sitting here, laughing at your ass, thats a. damn fact


LL COOL B IS IN THE HIZZO. fo sho.


oh and diana has my vote, and im not part of the contest. just a random thing

2 | I Feel Fine | disclaimer

this is why i love rod..... [07 May 2003|04:34pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I don't want you
to come round here no more
I beg you for mercy
You don't know how strong
my weakness is
Or how much it hurts me
Cause when you said it over with him
I want to believe it's true
So I let you in knowing tomorrow
I'm gonna wake up missing you
wake up missing you%0m
When the one you love's
in love with someone else
Don't you know it's torture
I mean it's a living hell
No matter how I try to convince myself
this time I won't lose control
One look in your blue eyes
And suddenly my heart can't tell you no%0m
I don't want you
To call me up no more
Saying you need me
You're crazy if you think
just half your love
could ever please me
Still I want to hold you, touch you
when you look at me that way
There's only one solution I know
You gotta stay away from me
Stay away from me%0m
When the one you love's
in love with someone else
Don't you know it's torture
I mean it's a living hell
No matter how I try to convince myself
this time I won't lose control
One look in your sad eyes
And suddenly my heart can't tell you no
My Heart can't tell you no%0m
I don't want you
to come round here no more
I beg you for mercy
You don't know how strong
my weakness is
Or how much it hurts me
Cause when you say its over with him
I want to believe it's true
So I let you in knowing tomorrow
I'm gonna wake up missing you
Wake up missing you%0m
When the one you love's
in love with someone else
Don't you know it's torture
I mean it's a living hell, a living hell
When the one you love's
in love with someone else
Don't you know it's torture
I mean it's a living hell, a living hell %0m

I Feel Fine | disclaimer

hm [07 May 2003|07:32am]
Bah. yesterday sucked really bad, but this morning started off pretty good. Em came over late last night, all drenched and i was like.... uh what happen to you. She told me that her condo was flooded and she was just dropping off the kids, so i offered her the guestbedroom and after much convincing she accepted it. So after putting the kids to bed we also went to bed, i looked pretty shitty and i didnt feel like chit-chatting, i just wanted to sleep. So then around 5 in the morning I feel someone on my bed and it frightend me cause hell i havent had no one in my bed for a while, so i rolled over and to my surprise it was em. she said rylan woke up and asked her some questions about her being his mommy and stuff and she was upset, so, we talked about it and other stuff, like how she got rod stewart to come meet with us, and how i planned all these gay horse back riding trips but they always turned into a shitty time cause we ended up fighting, and how are kids where great kids and we were lucky. and well it was a good convo. and im glad i had some else to talk to about my problems%0m
the end%0m
1 | I Feel Fine | disclaimer

And on the 7th day, there was light. [06 May 2003|09:26pm]
[ mood | indifferent ]

I swear to god, i have the best friend imaginable.....i had a really sucky ass day, too much fighting and emoness for me, and chris cheered me up by remembering the time i met rod stewart....one of my mama's and I's idols.......i swear Chris is the greatest friend i could ever .....ever... have.

%0m


in the wise song lyric of Rod Stewart%0m


When the one you love's in love with someone else, don't you know its torture, i mean its a living hell.....one like in your sad eyes and sunddenly my heart cant tell you no..... my heart cant tell you no.

I Feel Fine | disclaimer

2 o clock in the fuckin morning.... [06 May 2003|07:41am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

im up to early
abie said there was an aligator under her bed so i went to investigate, we put on our "hunting hats" and took one of rylans fake guns, but found no aligator. sob. but at least she went back to bed.%0m
Im gonna spend some time with Jenny today, we are going to try to get "over" some people.... maybe it will work....maybe it wont, guess we are just gonna have to wait and see.%0m
congrats to heather and ry.... you got in engaged on my birthday.....how sweet. hah. but now i cant marry ryan.....sob. i mean.... congrats. yes.%0m
well im gonna try to go back to sleep or entertain myself in some way. bye.

I Feel Fine | disclaimer

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